We're not in Kansas anymore.
The news broke a few days ago that David and I will be returning home to the states in September, and I couldn’t be more happy with the support we’ve received from everyone! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Of course, you will be able to continue to follow my adventures. Just head on over to Lost ‘N Austin to keep up with the latest Morgan/ David news. Please excuse the awkward header photo. It was the best one google had for me and I obviously can’t change that until I’m there ; )
The decision to move to Texas really got me thinking about the new experiences I’ve learned from living with my significant other. It also got me thinking about friends that have taken the plunge and what I’ve learned from them, as well. Yes, I realize that the collection of epiphanies I’m about to discuss should have dawned on me … oh I don’t know… 8 months ago when I decided to move here!!!!! None-the-less, I’ve had a great time and fortunately little to no bumps along the way.
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK – I am not an expert. If you are thinking of moving in together, take the time to do your research. Talk to friends and family, reach out to people who have lived with their significant other, but remember that every relationship has its own positives and negatives.
Important Things You Should Know: Before Moving In Together
How does your significant other react when upset, angry, or irritated? You will learn a lot about a person by how they respond to difficult situations. There will be periods of time while living together that one or both of you may have woken up on the wrong side of the bed. Can you avoid WWIII or are you doomed for disaster? The way you respond to tough situations and each other during those situations will have a huge impact on the success of your cohabitation.
What are your partners spending habits? Unfortunately you’re not just sharing a living space, but your wallet too. Be sure both of you are on the same page when it comes to money, or you at least have an understanding/respect for how the other person chooses to spend their dough. Remember to consider the fact that you wont just be splitting rent, but bills, groceries, and sometimes even gas money. Dave and I have a pretty solid system going. We choose to keep our bank accounts separate, which really helps because I’m kind of a control freak and I’d rather not know every tiny detail of his cash flows. We have a particular savings goal and date set to reach that goal by. As long as everything is paid for and we are working towards or savings goal, I’m okay with him dropping $800 on yet another device for his music making processes. Knowing your partners spending habits ahead of time will ease financial tension in the long run.
Things to Consider: Before Moving In Together
How often do you currently see each other? If you currently see each other 2 -3 times a week, try stepping it up a notch before taking the plunge. Maybe even do a two week “trail period”. Get to know your partners routine and make sure you can be “bored” together. It’s easy to feel compatible when you’re always doing fun things together. The last thing you want is to sign a lease and find out 3 weeks later that you can’t stand each other.
What does this mean for the both of you? Women tend to see cohabitation as the prelude to a marriage proposal. Unless the “m” word has been discussed between both parties, it’s unwise to make this assumption. This does not mean that you both have to want marriage to live together! Some couples live happily together agreeing that marriage is off the table. Make sure you are on the same page to avoid any hurt feelings down the road.
Does your relationship foster growth? This is a biggie in my books! Do you and your partner support each other and help each other grow in both your personal lives and your relationship? And I don’t just mean after an argument. Do you help each other on a daily basis? Seriously. There is something to be said about the little things. Also, for the sake of all that is good, pay attention to red flags! Red flags are warning signs for a reason, people!!!!!!! Basically, it all boils down to whether or not you have a good healthy relationship to begin with.
Reasons Not To Move In Together
Moving in together to fix your relationship. Cohabiting emphasized your, as well as your partners, bad habits. If you find your partner to be “shady” now, you’re really in for a treat when you move in together! Then there’s the cheating factor…Nothing, I mean nothing, boils my blood faster than a couple moving in together and one has a history of cheating on the other! Seriously!? Really, you’re going to move in together because he/she “realized how much you mean to them and it won’t happen again”? I just… I can’t even…
I may be wrong in this, but I do not believe you should move in together solely for the purposes of saving money. Saving money on rent should be a perk not a reason. Remember, I’m looking out for your well being and the longevity of your relationship. Maybe moving in together to save money will work out fine and dandy to begin with, but in my expert* opinion, I don’t see how this will make it very far. (Again, I could be very wrong)
It’s romantic. Yes, it’s romantic but it can also be disturbing. Don’t be naive. For instance, Daves snoring disturbs my once perfect sleeping patterns. Also, I hate doing the dishes and there is only one thing I hate more than doing the dishes and that is the way Dave does the dishes. Unfortunately, this means that I’m stuck doing this dishes and that’s okay! My old roommates in Wichita would be proud of dish efficiency now-a-days!! 🙂
That’s all for now. I hope you enjoyed my off topic rambling! 🙂 Feel free to add to my list or offer your own opinions!
Until next time,
One last thing! I found this perfectly random sticky note on a street corner the other day. It’s always good to share positivity!